Written by Michelle Thompson (aka Seahurst)

Dear Senator...

Next week, for the first time in this country’s history, you will have the opportunity to attached your signature to a document amending the Constitution, thereby DENYING basic rights to a specific portion of our citizenry.

The Declaration of Independence is a document cherished around the world because it stands for freedom. Every time I view the signatures on that document, I am moved by the courage these founders of our country showed. So, when you are asked to amend the Constitution, it is my hope that you will remember our forefather’s disdain for anything that limited the rights of American citizens.

Next week you are going to be asked to include your signature to a document that declares that the only union this country recognizes, is that between a man and a woman. You are going to be asked to include your signature to a document that says this country and all its citizens believe that a “marriage,” as it is between a man and a women,  carries with it the full backing of the United States government. And, by doing so, for the first time in our history, you will create permanent discrimination as part of our nations history and laws.

You will be asked to sign a document that says that this country believes that the marriage between a certain celebrity and her male high school buddy, that lasted for a mere nine hours, deserves all the rights, and privileges this country has to offer, yet a lesbian couple who have been committed to each other for forty years deserves.... absolutely nothing. And, when one of those two women dies, the one still living will be forced to pay huge inheritance taxes, because according to the documentation you are going to be asked to sign, even after forty years, they will still be considered two single persons. How incredibly sad, that even in death, they will still be discriminated against because of that one swipe of the pen if you sign your name to this amendment.

You will be asked to apply your signature to a document that will force hospitals to only allow medical decisions to be made by a blood relative, or a spouse (which according to this document must be someone of the opposite sex.) This amendment overrides the civil rights of an American citizen to name who they want to make medical decisions for them, should they not be able to do so themselves. Can you imagine being pushed out of the way if your wife or husband were in the hospital, and told that unless you are a “family member” you are not even allowed to see your spouse as they lay dying? And, then...can you imagine having all the medical decisions for your wife or husband’s recovery turned over to her or his family members... family who maybe hasn’t even seen or talked to your spouse in years...yet here they are, making decisions based on their own desires, and not those of your spouse? Can you imagine rushing to the hospital after hearing your wife or husband has been in an accident, only to have the hospital tell you that you don’t even deserve to know if your spouse is alive.... because in the eyes of this amendment, and therefore this country, you....don’t.... exist.

As I sit here, I am trying desperately to understand the need for such an Amendment. While I do understand, that for their own personal reasons, not all American’s believe in equal rights for every citizen in this country. However, I also know that the majority of Americans do believe that all of this country’s citizens deserve to be treated equal under the law. There is already the Defense of Marriage Act in place. It already states that the federal government only recognizes a marriage between a man and a woman. Anything else should be up to the individual states. I am lost as to why the Bush administration feels the need to change our Constitution forever...and why now? I can’t help but think that this is a typical example of a politician trying to distract you from seeing what his right hand is doing by snapping his fingers and waving his left.

There are many reasons for the separation of church and state, this is but one. The word “marriage” can be the religious term defining a commitment between a man and woman. However, when it comes to the government, it is a civil union that defines the bond between those two people, and that union should never be defined by sexuality. I ask you to please not confuse certain religious views about homosexuality with the civil rights of American citizens. We are not asking the different religious to give up their traditions in pre forming marriage ceremonies, if that is how a couple wants to be joined. But, let’s remember, not all people who choose to marry want to make it a religious event. Many of our fellow citizens choose to get married in front of a Justice of the Peace, or they may choose to have the ceremony on a hillside, or jumping out of a plane, or scuba diving off of a beautiful coral reef....or by going through a drive-thru in Las Vegas. (Can I just express here how offensive it is to me, that a heterosexual couple can “marry” without even having to take the time to get out of their car, yet no matter how much thought and commitment I put into my relationship, I am not afforded the same rights that couple has as they drive away.)

People get married for many different reasons, religious beliefs is only one of them, if included at all. If you decide to open the door to amending the Constitution for religious beliefs (which, in my opinion, is the basis for this amendment), then I would expect you will soon be asked to vote on an amendment outlawing divorce, as well as birth control of any kind. That is after all the teachings of the Catholic Church, who make up a certain percentage of our citizenry.

On that note...the latest numbers show that 38% of marriages end in divorce (these numbers don’t include California, which in all likelihood would cause them to be higher.) However if you think about it... there are two people involved in each of those divorces, which adds up to a whole lot of people. So... I’m thinking they probably wouldn’t take to kindly to an amendment outlawing divorce, therefore forcing millions of Americans to stay in unhappy, or abusive marriages. Add to that the fact that 80% of American women have taken the birth control pill at one time or another in their lives, and I am sure you would agree that you would have a civil war on your hands if an amendment to the Constitution was put to a vote banning all forms of birth control. I know these examples seem a little far fetched at this moment, however in light of the direction the current administration is trying to drag this country... nothing seems to be out of their reach.

I can’t help but wonder how this amendment would protect traditional marriages? Because, let’s be honest, that is the reason why this amendment is coming up for a vote in the first place. For whatever reason, certain heterosexuals in this country feel the need to protect their relationships...why I am not sure, because as a lesbian I have absolutely nothing to do with the success or failure of heterosexual relationships...just as a married man and woman in North Carolina has anything to do with the success or failures of my personal relationships. So I ask, why do they feel the need to amend the Constitution of The United States of America to reassure themselves?

Is it the word “marriage” that these people want to protect? Because, if it is, then by all means keep it. If you believe the word “married”, or “marriage” is a religious term, then let religious ceremonies keep that word. If you believe that using any form of the word “marry” will help you stay happy in your relationship, that by all means keep it. Because, for me, it is not what word you use that matters. It is having equal rights, privileges, and responsibilities under the law that matter to me. It is me being able to stand up and say I am committing myself totally and completely to another person that matters. It is being able to not only share my heart and home with another, it is the desire to share assets and debts as well. To pay taxes as a couple, and not as two single people. It is the peace of mind that comes from knowing that if I am in the hospital, unable to express my own wishes for my medical care, that the person I have committed my life to will be there taking care of that for me. And, it many cases, it is wanting to take on the responsibility of raising children together that matters. A committed relationship is defined by the two people in that relationship, not by a word. However, if you need to name it, define it with a word or phrase...fine... Marriage, Civil Unions, Domestic Partnerships...call it what you will, just allow me the same rights as my neighbors.

Some people loosely throw out the term “special rights” when talking about what homosexuals want. This just makes me laugh, yet infuriates me at the same time. I am not asking for special rights, I am asking for equal rights under the law. I am asking for the same rights as my heterosexual brother, and my heterosexual parents. By passing this amendment, you are in fact,  signing into law specific, special rights for citizens of this country based solely on their sexual orientation... which in this case is heterosexual. So, who is it that really wants special rights all for themselves? Special is not equal...and I want equal.

The angry part of me can’t help but feel that American homosexuals, bisexuals, and transgendered persons, will forever be second class citizens, just so a small portion of  heterosexuals in this country can be allowed to sooth their own consciences, when in reality, all this amendment allows, in my opinion, is federally sanctioned gay bashing. How many laws must you pass before you understand that you cannot regulate how we as human beings love each other... heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual?

It wasn’t that long ago when it was illegal for a interracial couple to marry in this country. If you were standing before the parents of Jennifer Beals, or Halle Berry, or any other bi-racial child today, what would you say to them...and what would you say to those children? It was fear that brought about those ridiculously discriminatory laws then, and it is fear that is driving this amendment now. 

We are all Americans. We are members of your families. Please remember that if you sign in favor of this amendment, you are literally telling your sisters, brothers... aunts, fathers... nieces, nephews...your sons, your daughters...your grandchildren, and their children, that you do not believe in who they are as human beings. That you believe them to not be worthy...that you believe their lives to not be as important as yours.

By signing in favor of this amendment, you tell them...you tell me...that we simply do not matter...now, or ever.

Your name Senator, will indeed go down in history. The question is, will it represent freedom and equality, or discrimination and injustice?

Thank you,

Michelle Thompson

Go Back to Fan Editorials Archive Pages