Season 4 / Episode 7; Episode: "Lesson
Number One"
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Episode
Summary 407
Kace Evers Episode Review Of Mass Destruction
#407: Lesson Number One
So what did we learn today, class?
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Previously on The L Word, Shane was on a billboard and got to know Shane
a
little better. Bette confronted Angus. Max talked to his boss about
harassment. Helena lost a poker game to Catherine and became her bitch.
Jenny's game of deception came to an end. Bette and Jodie had dinner,
but
Jodie doesn't like kids. Tasha's in the Army, but Alice likes her, but
Phyllis is kinda in the way now.
Showtime Presents, Tasha putting on her work clothes, while flashbacks
of
Iraq dance in her head, tormenting her just a tad.
And now our friendly happy fun time theme montage! Y'know, if for some
reason Tasha's not around next year, please ditch the motorcycle!
Dueling tanktops now with Bette and Jodie as Bette's in bed and Jodie's
sitting there sketching. They got 3 hours of sleep, but Jodie seems wide
awake. Time to go to work, but Jodie intervenes. Jodie's kind of a bad
influence when you think about it. More makin' with the lovin' as
somebody's "don't show my nipples" contract clause is kept intact.
Bette
thinks she's gonna fall in love with Jodie. Hoo boy...that's like the
kiss
of death on this show (especially if you play tennis).
Jenny buries Sounder's ashes in the backyard. Couldn't get Jane Sibbery
to
sing for this one, eh? Max arrives and Jenny quickly tries to defend
herself in the usual bullshit manner over the Lez Girls stuff.
Back to Bette's as our color coordinated lovebirds get together in the
dining room. More making out, but now we're interrupted by Phyllis on
the
phone. Phyllis is home alone and breaking apart. Jodie intervenes and
yes, Phyllis, Jodie's a lesbian. They're gonna pay Phyllis a visit.
Jenny, Shane, Kit and Alice try to comfort Helena by letting her know
that
everyone's a whore at some point. Jenny is now Princess Of Darkness. Yep,
that Lez Girls thing is going over well with the Group. Helena's unsure
about having sex with Catherine to pay off a debt.
Meanwhile, across the Universe, Papi and Tasha hang out and discuss Alice.
Papi wants Tasha and Alice to hook up and goes over a brief recent history,
including Alice and Papi's brief fling. Tasha takes offense and makes
it
clear that they have different values. Tasha rides off in her motorcycle.
Max arrives for work and pictures everyone asking annoying questions
about
transgendering. Instead, nobody really cares as Max walks in, except for
one co-worker. He mentions that Max standing up for Megan was,"righteous."
And apparently Max is gay.
Helena's still trying to figure out what she's gonna do about Catherine,
while Alice's website is crashing.
Over at school, Jared and Shay are in the Principal's Office for getting
in
a fight with some other kid who called one of 'em gay. Y'know, since Paige
and Shane (who are also there) are gay. Today, on the Lesbian After School
Special!!! Paige is supportive of the fighting back. After confirmation
over who's gay and who isn't (for now), the boys are sent out. Shane,
Paige and the Principal go over what's the best way to deal with this.
On to some cafeteria area for some shoot at the studio as...Oh, God...
*pause*
Dear Showtime,
Stop pimping that friggin' Tudors show in the middle of The L Word! I
don't care!!! Stop it!!! ARRRGGHHH!!!!
*unpause*
Aaron, Tina's boss wants Tina get the rights to Lez Girls. Tina isn't
Nina, so she says. Aaron makes a not really veiled threat over Tina's
job
being lost if she doesn't get it. Jenny's really gone into detail about
these stories as Aaron asks about Tina being cheated on.
Phyllis's house as Jodie, Bette and Tom arrive in an attempt to help
Phyllis get over her heartbreak. Phyllis is depressingly hilarious.
What's with all the lectures this week? Is there a pop quiz at the end
of
this? Bette tells her coming out story ('bout 3 years after everyone else
did).
Back to The Planet as Max looks over Alice's website, which is getting
a
lot of hits. Namedropping as Max gives a quick lecture (another one) over
how to make money off your website. Papi arrives. And uh...yeah.
Back to Phyllis as the sledgehammer of plot committee arrives to point
out
inherent issues that befall Bette/Jodie. Jodie talks about being with
a
deaf lover and then having affairs and such. Bette's just realized she's
made love to her mirror image.
And tag back to The Planet as Tina arrives to meet Jenny, but she says
hi
to Kit. Tina's still welcome (riiiight). Tina makes sure Kit's okay over
what happened with Angus and we get crossed signals as Kit didn't know
what
Tina was referring to. 'Course she does now!!! I like Tina, but damn!
Shut up, Tina!!! Shut....crap. Well, Kit knows now about the whole
Angus/Hazel affair.
Kit disappears into her office as the realization sets in. She calls
Angus
and gets the voicemail. She calls Bette and gets the voicemail and Kit
leaves a message wanting to talk to her as soon as possible.
Papi questions Alice over why Tina's given such a hard time. Alice's
explanation makes no sense and Papi, God bless her shoots it down. Tasha's
brought up. Papi thinks maybe Alice/Tasha shouldn't happen, since this
isn't a portal.
Meanwhile, Jenny apparently likes Tina (flip, flop, flip, flop...) now.
Tina pitches the idea of a screenplay version of Lez Girls. They talk
and
talk and talk and Jenny's convinced. Now Tina mentions Jenny needing an
agent. William Morris (Ilene's people) are namedropped.
Onto Fort Somethingornother as Alice arrives. Given Alice's rant about
GW
Bush's penis in Season 3, I'm kinda surprised she's let in without being
sent to Gitmo.
STOP WITH THE TUDORS PIMPING, SHOWTIME!!! Show hasn't even started yet
and
I'm already tired of it.
Tasha and Alice talk in Tasha's office and Alice likes her. Portals are
brought up and Tasha suspects Papi involvement. Tasha gives Alice a
mission and we get more things about what protocol and such (again, is
there a pop quiz).
We're introduced to more female soldiers as we're about to go flyin'
in a
helicopter.
Helena tries to figure out what she's gonna wear and talks to herself.
In the copter now and they're all family now. It's the Ask And Tell
helicopter. Oh, I get it!!! They go flying.
Helena arrives at Catherine's place/suite/whatever. Time for business
and
the business apparently involves playing cards. The business is Strip
Gin
Rummy. If it were Strip Uno, that'd make it even more fun. Helena wins,
she's free. She loses, well...we get to see her nekkid. It's a win-win!
Back to the base as Tasha and Alice say goodnight with kissing. Tasha
wants to take this really slow. She wants to be sure before things go
too
far. Well, that's a change of pace. Alice asks her out for a date.
Onto the game and Catherine calls it the Monte Carlo rules. Helena calls
BS and Catherine admits they're just her rules. Each game ends with one
removing clothes and the other adding some back on. Helena loses and is
down to just her underwear as the bra comes off. This would've been fun
to
watch uninterrupted, but we fastforwarded to Catherine being down to just
her last article of clothing. Helena wins and she's free! Off come to
the
underwear for Catherine and Helena, having not learned her lesson from
Dylan goes for seduction mode.
We go from that to our Lesbian After School Special about tolerance.
We
have our obligatory non-gay friendly mother. Shay announces that his
sister is gay. Awwwww...
Bette shows up at Jodie's workplace. She needs to talk to Jodie and Tom
is
off to walk around campus. Bette isn't sure this is gonna work out. Jodie
goes over her own issues about insecurity of a monogamous relationship.
Ta-ta-ta-tension, tension tension...
Back to school as we get insight into Paige's sexuality (attracted to
the
person, not the gender...holy Melissa Rivers, Batman!). Shane being the
underwear model is brought up and Shane explains rather clearly why she
did
that.
Onto some party and...
STOP!!! AARRGGHHH, TUDORS!!!
They toast to the bidding war as Jenny talks with studio people. Katie
Holmes (nice girl, I met her once, she's really cool) is namedropped.
Tina
is mentioned. Jenny thinks Tina should be part of the bidding war. So
much for that, Tina.
Bette's at her computer and Jodie IM's her about love and signs off.
Jenny's house as Shane and Paige go over the day. Jared gets to sleep
over
since he's already tired. Shane and Paige are in the kitchen. They begin
drinking beer and right away, Paige wants to do the crime since doing
the
time. So they proceed to gettin' it on. What was all that about Shane
not
wanting to get involved in this stuff again? A toilet flushes and Shane
just goes, "another time." Kids runnin' around, probably a good
idea.
And that's that.
Great episode, all around, but it was almost like being in school again.
Discussion
Board -- What did you think of the episode??
Guest
Stars:
Kristanna Loken
Sandrine Holt
Music
A big thanks to EzGirl and Howard Parr, the Season 4 Music Editor!
Visit EzGirl at www.myspace.com/ezgirlmusic
1-Recap-- ezgirl
2-Main Title-- BETTY
3-Jenny Buries Sounder 1-- ezgirl
4-Jenny Buries Sounder 2-- ezgirl
5There is a god-- The Staple Singers
6-Max Day Dream—ezgirl
7-Glad about you-- Linda Ballintine
8-Paige Volunteers--ezgirl
9-Lunch Truck--ezgirl
10-Boozinbacher-- One Hot Suzy
11-Soulcane -- One Hot Suzy
12-Weak Spot-- Ruby Johnson
13-Early Morning Mood-- Chet Baker
14-Traning Base-- ezgirl
15-Walking up to the helicopter-- ezgirl
1Sex, Fashion and money--The Grabs
17-Inside Helicopter--ezgirl
18-Eve's Temptation-- James Bullet
19-She -- James Bullet
20-My Sister Is Gay- ezgirl
21-Love Sucker-- X-Lover
22-Barnyard (END SONG)-- BETTY
Previews
of Episode 4.08, Lexington and Concorde
Jenny plots revenge on a critic; Alice and Tasha end up getting involved
despite their disagreement over the war in Iraq; Kit goes public about
Angus' infidelity; Tina meets Bette's new lover.
SPOILER VERSION:
4.08, Lexington and Concorde
Bette and Tina share a tender moment just as Jodi walk in and Tina gets
introduced to Bette's new love.
Helena gets back into the high life staying at Catherine's hotel suite
alone until Catherine unexpectedly returns, demanding that Helena play
in a poker game that night.
Shane and Paige become more to each other than skateboarding moms.
At Kit's CD launch party, the duet with Angus falls apart as she can't
hold back her pain and anger over his infidelity as she explodes on stage
leaving everyone at The Planet stunned.
In classic Papi fashion, she takes advantage of Kit's vulnerable state
of mind and takes her to a Latino bar, fueling her anger over mojitos.
The clash and argument over their oppposite views on the Iraq war leads
to an intense love making session for Alice and Tasha.
Bette feels it may be gentler on her heart if she cools things off with
Jodi.
Alice becomes increasingly concerned that Helena is being pimped out
at the poker table by Catherine.
Jenny gets caught off guard by Stacey who accuses her of invading the
lives of real people then promptly attacks her in a parking lot in front
of her agents.
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