 Season
4 / Episode 4 ; Episode: "Layup"
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Episode
Summary
Kace Evers Episode Review Of Mass Destruction
#404: Lassoed
Too bad Dana's dead. They coulda really used her on the team here.
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Previously on The L Word, Bette got it on with Nadya. Shane put Shay
in a
school. Angus's World fell apart. Shane was offered a job as an underwear
model. Phyllis says something that prompts Jenny to look for Lindsay,
Stacy's girlfriend. Phyllis likes Alice.
Showtime presents...SEX!!! Circles are good and apparently Alice is
teaching someone how to do the whole sex thing. Teeth are now good as
well. Jesus Fuckin' A Christ is brought in. I thought his middle name
was
H. This is all about Alice's facial expressions. How the Hell do they
expect Helena to sleep? Unless that is Helena! Nope, it's Phyllis as the
Helacious 'Shippers are denied.
The evolution of the opening montage continues as we now see Jodie standing
in front of that art construction thing. Papi and Shane are back to back.
Papi's friend hasn't turned around just yet. But don't worry, she will
and
soon enough I'm guessin'.
Alice and Phyllis enjoy the afterglow. Alice is so courageous in moving
on. She's got it on with 2 women this year. That matches last year's
number, I think.
Shay's about to head off to school and gives Shane a flyer for Back To
School Night. Shane's feeling a little unsure about her parental abilites.
We're at an animal shelter. "Just tell 'em you had to take Smokey
to the farm,"
a couple discusses how to handle telling their kids they've given away
their dog.
I love when EZ writes the episodes. At the shelter, Jenny is referred
to as Debbie
as a game of deception is in its early stages, taking in an old dog to
care for it.
Uh huh...right. The dog barfs and what's with the nausea theme this year?
We're at The Planet where Papi talks with Alice about only being turned
down once.
'Course she wound up hitting that, too. I smellll BULLSHIT! Lara would
reject Papi without giving her a second thought. Papi brings us closer
to
our theme for this week as she brings up the basketball court. Shane is
referred to as, "Vanilla Spice." Remember, if this is Season
1 we have a
great rivalry. But this is Season 4 and the game's already over. Alice
and Papi challenge one another to a b-ball game.
Phyllis walks down the hall at CU and checks out the ladies. One of those
gals is quite cute. Bette says hi and notices something different about
Phyllis. Yes, I believe Cherie called it the "Just Fucked Look."
Some
donor guy is needed for funds and he's apparently right wing to the right
wingiest. I guess now would be a bad time to mention that the Democrats
aren't exactly good guys, either eh? Okay then. Bette realizes that
Phyllis has gotten it on with Alice.
Angus is trying to get over his pain and Kit's trying to cheer him up.
Angus is 36? Kit's not old to be his Mother, much less his Grandmother!
Unless we're taking into account the promiscuous nature of an early teen.
Kit wants to put a nasty lil' duet with Angus on her record. I got a
feeling Angus is seeing it as charity, which I'm thinking he doesn't want.
Alice is on the phone with Shane, talking about the basketball challenge
while using the bathroom. Yeah, I need to see that.
Bette walks into the sounds of electric tools being used. Bette sneaks
up
on Jodie while not meaning to. It's made clear right away that Jodie's
deaf as Tom shows up and is the interpreter. I admire Marlee Matlin
greatly and one of the great things about her being on the show is we
all
get a nice education here. The pervert in me's interested to know if she
uses sign language during sex climaxes. But then I'm weird. They talk
and
talk and talk and I'm too busy looking at the fingers and handsignals.
Bette's trying to convince Jodie to hide some Anti-GW Bush piece so Skip
The Moneyman doesn't see it while visiting.
Jenny drives with the dying dog in the hopes of keeping her game of
deception going. An appointment is made and Jenny needs to come up with
a
different name. So she refers to herself as Debbie Oxnard, upon seeing
a
sign with "Oxnard" on it.
Max and Brooke have a dinner date. Brooke's a beatiful gal, but seems
to
have a sex induced darkside to her. Oh Hell, here we go. Max comes clean
about his transgendering situation. Brooke freaks out and refers to Max
as
a, "freak." Jesus is given a new last name, "Fuck."
Jesus Fuck? Maybe
that's Jesus Fuckin' A Christ for short. Brooke exits and Max is a sad
puppy. As am I, Max, as am I.
Skip The Moneyman drops in and is talking with Bette about something
involving Affirmative Action and how it's unfair and so on and not about
the merit of someone's abilities as it is other things. Before things
turn
into some crap from the Cable News Channel Of Your Choice, Jodie says
hi.
Skip wants to see the work of the students. Front and center, we get the
Anti-Bush piece. It's a little um...unsettling, but in a funny way. It's
a life size mannequin
of Barbara Bush with an American flag blindfold. The disturbing part--George
W is
in the womb, and there's a vacuum positioned in Barbara Bush's crotch.
The piece is
entitled "The Unauthorized Abortion of W." Bette gives Jodie
a nice lecture and Skip makes it clear that he won't be donating money.
Jodie plays it cool to Bette and Bette goes ALPHA! Nice!
We're interrupted by Queer As Folk at the animal hospital as Jenny waits.
We meet Lindsay (speaking of QAF, there's a familiar name). Jenny...I
mean...Debbie, wink wink continues the game of deception. Lindsay appears
to be the caring type with a soft spot for animals, thus her job. We get
the picture of Lindsay, her dog and her girlfriend the Vagina Wig! The
game of deception should be a little more clear to those who didn't get
it
right away.
Alice teaches Helena how to play basketball. Helena makes a backwards
shot
without really trying. Well, she's got a trickshot at least. Phyllis
drops in and bares a gift for Alice. The gift of music. Helena's now a
caterer since Phyllis is looking for one. But nobody could do catering
like Lara.
*pause*
Allow me a moment to drown in my sorrows...
Y'know, Season 4 has been fantastic up to this point as the episodes
are
getting better and better so far, but it's still depressing not having
Lara
or Carmen around. I would say the same for Dana, but I kinda understand
as
to why she ain't here, being dead and all. Thank God for FanFic.
*unpause*
We're introduced to Bad News, also known as...some German girl. See,
Angus, not having time to help Tina's gonna come back to bite ya. SERVES
YA RIGHT, BENEDICT ARNOLD!!! She wants Angus to teach her guitar and
probably other things. Well, let's just make things obvious.
We get some God-des & She's "I Can Love You Better." I
was expectin' to
hear that during Season 3, so better late than never. We're at the shoe
store and Kit is in denial about her shoe size. Everyone's preparing for
the big basketball game.
Bette does some lecture about some artist and Nadya interrupts in an
attempt to direct things. Nadya's making her move now that she has Bette
under control...or so she thinks! FOOLISH MORTAL!!! We just got a taste
of Alpha-Bette earlier so Nadya needs to tread carefully. Nadya slides
her
hand to Bette's butt as she walks by...but it's just to let her know that
time is up. I think Nadya's time is about to be up. Everyone leaves and
it's just Bette and Nadya. Bette makes it clear that the party is over
and
Nadya's not buying. Bette threatens disciplinary action even if it means
her own suffering. What was that Max was saying about lobsters again?
The
Bette/Nadya ride is over and Nadya knows that Bette ain't someone to mess
with.
Back To School Night. We're introduced to Paige (the eagerly awaited
appearance of Kristanna Loken). Paige has a son named
Jared who attends to school there. There's a skateboarding theme they
both
share and a playdate is scheduled between the two. Sally The Teacher says
hi and talks to Shane. Shane is still unsure about how helpful she can
be
to Shay. Sally shows something to Shane and....awww, I'm gonna cry now....
It's a picture that Shay drew of him and his sister hanging out.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bette and Alice talk at Bette's house and Bette's really not happy with
Alice/Phyllis happening. Alice knows about Phyllis being with a man and
all. Well, keep in mind Alice did see Dana on the side while Dana was
engaged to Tonya so it's not totally out of her realm. Bette played
basketball in High School and she's drafted into the team.
Papi's team do their thing and here comes the Planet Team. Nice to see
Max
is part of the team. This will be brutal. Looks like Max is basically
there to just hang out with Shay actually. Papi tries to instigate a
rivalry with Shane and Shane just doesn't see the point. Tina arrives,
uninvited and Angelica is being watched by Angus and Hazel. Okay, that's
her name...Hazel. Jenny mentions that it's a lesbian team game or
whatever. Kit's on the team as an honorary lesbian and Jenny runs down
Tina
as being unqualified for the team for the same reasons Kit would be.
That's what friends are for. Y'know, I really wouldn't blame Tina if she
told these not-so-friends of hers to fuck off, because at this point they
deserve it. But Tina's just too nice to do that. Overly dramatic
tendencies aside, we need more people like Tina. Except for Shane and
Helena do kinda take up for Tina a little bit so I guess they get to slide
by. Papi appears to invite Tina over to her team. Well, good for Papi!
So far she's more loyal to Tina than Tina's own friends. Plus, if anyone
can get Tina to be with a woman again, it's Papi, right? Let's hope it's
what
the English teachers like to call foreshadowing that it's not accidental
that the
"other team" Tina is now playing for is the ALL LESBIAN team.
Papi vs Shane...only if it's Season 1 Shane. Tina passes to her teammate
and more loyal friend, Papi but Bette steals the ball. We play basketball
and Jenny's too busy drinking something. Bette makes the layup, just like
the episode name. What a feeling.
You know if Tina ever breaks up with Henry, we should so get a Papi/Tina
moment. We have a laws of physics defying dunk performed by one of the
ladies. Look, even the 6'10" gals have a hard enough time getting
that
much air. Then again, maybe it's Sheryl Swoops in disguise. Man, Alice's
team is a disaster. Shay meanwhile is skating as Max watches on. Jenny
takes a smokebreak as the game continues. Helena's fouled. The first free
throw is no good. Well, she could probably still get a job with the
Atlanta Hawks, I suppose. Alice tells Helena to try the backwards shot
and
that one goes in. I have a friend who's like that. He can only make full
court shots and nothing more. Alice and Papi are bonding and stuff. Kit's
feet are killing. There's a good reason for that.Might it be her ego that
wouldn't let her buy a larger size?
The game pretty much ends as Shay falls off the skateboard and on his
arm.
The game is postponed.
At the Planet and we get our discussion about the WNBA and I'm inclined
to
agree with the statements made here. In fact, I'm probably the only
non-lesbian who pays attention to the WNBA. By the way, in Season 3 there
was that women's basketball game featuring a team from San Jose. That
wasn't a WNBA game in case you're about to ask. The San Jose team was
just
made up and given the rant about the WNBA here, I can see why. They
mention other sports that lesbians play and tennis is brought up...Dana
is
almost mentioned. Almost.
Shay's arm is broken and he has no insurance. Shane has no money to pay
for the arm getting fixed--like maybe $10,000. Welp...you know what that
means!
The episode ends with Shane going into underwear modeling and, "Boys
Wanna
Be Her" by Peaches playing. First time I heard that song, I thought
of
Shane so it fits.
And that's that for this episode. Things continue to progress nicely
and
it's like a new life has been breathed into the show.
Discussion
Board -- What did you think of the episode??
Guest
Stars:
Kirstanna Loken
Jessica Capshaw
Music
A big thanks to EzGirl and Howard Parr, the Season 4 Music Editor!
Visit EzGirl at www.myspace.com/ezgirlmusic
1 Recap-- ezgirl
2 Main Title-- BETTY
3 Shouting Out Love-- The Emotions
4 Music to Watch Girls By-- Andy Williams
5 Elder Soul Sister-- One Hot Suzy
6 Je Ne Te Connais Pas-- Prototypes
7 Heart Of Iron-- Tony Salvatore
8 Statue-- ezgirl
9 Picture-- ezgirl
10 Love You Better-- God-Des & She
11 Classroom-- ezgirl
12 Fire To Me -- Hyper vs. the Crystal Method
13 Another Day-- The Majestic Arrows
14 Boys Wanna Be Her (END SONG)-- Peaches
Previews
of Episode 4.05, Lez Girls
NON-Spoiler Version
News of Bette and Nadyia gets around campus; Alice calls it off with
Phyllis after meeting her husband; Jenny's article in a magazine ticks
off Alice; Tina catches Angus with his pants down.
SPOILER VERSION:
Angus gets drawn into more than he bargained for when Tina's hot German
au pair Hazel (Ulla Friis), asks him for guitar lessons.
After Bette makes it clear to Nadia that a repeat performance of their
past sexual encounter is never going to happen, Nadia doesn't take Bette's
brush off seriously and decides to resign as Bette's TA.
Jodi's hearing impairment doesn't stop her from knowing exactly what's
going on which blows Bette's cool stance when all of a sudden Jodi confronts
her about her little affair with Nadia.
Jenny's published new story entitled 'Lez Girls' in The New Yorker spawns
anger from Alice - none of the innocent are protected as the girls' lives
are revealed in print.
Phyllis gets paranoid about interpreting an email Alice sent her and
asks Bette for her opinion.
Helena frantically preps for Phyllis's fundraiser, but gets so distracted
socializing with guests that she forgets hors d'oeuvres in the oven.
Shane takes Shay for a play date with Jared (Jackson Allan) and gets
hit on by his beautiful mom, Paige.
Tina tells Bette she saw Angus cheating on Kit.
A mirror doesn't tell lies or hide reality as Max takes a hard look at
himself still in a women's body.
Jenny's ploy of using a sick old dog to get to journalist Stacey's girlfriend
Lindsay (Caroline Cave) works and leads to a dinner date with the vet.
In a gay club, Stacey and Lindsay walk into the club where Jenny's true
identity could be busted until Jenny grabs Papi for a distracting kiss
- the impersonation is still on.
After dropping off food for Helena at Phyllis' party, Alice breaks it
off with Phyllis after meeting her husband and realizing she doesn't want
to be a part of breaking up Phyllis's family.
GUEST STARS
Kristanna Loken
Steven Eckholdt
Heather Matarazzo
Bruce Davison
Written By: Ilene Chaiken Directed By: John Stockwell
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